Letters from volunteers

Feedbacks from volunteers who changed their value systems due to cooperation with the String civic association:

Katka:…At first it made me very sad to see so many abandoned children together (and the nurse told us that in fact at present they are not many!!!!), but I understood as far as the nurses told us that most of these children were actually lucky to get to this Institute. Some of their life stories are particularly terrifying. I was also surprised by the personality of doctor Rákos. You don´t meet a man like him every day. His ardor for the work is remarkable, too. So I have a feeling that children are well taken care of. Well, I know that this won´t supersede their mothers, but at least they have something…

Eva P.: ...I have to say what made me sad a little was that most of the children are really backward and this is only because their parents exposed them and naturally, the nurses cannot substitute the parents. Therefore I was very pleased to contribute at least for a while to their feeling of joy and happiness. They could feel that someone cares for them.

Veronika a Zuzka: …the children generally provide a quick feedback and this was the greatest reward to us.

Růžena: Verča: One has to content oneself with the thought that even the little while was helpful – that a few children got away from the gates of the Institute, that some of them were laughing…

Pavla: If I was to sum up what this project gave me, it would definitely be the wonderful feeling that I did something nice for the children. That they are happy when I come visit them, they laugh sincerely and are not shy in front of strangers. The nurses take them as their own and this project teaches them besides other things how to overcome the fear of the surrounding world…Take for example Pepíček. When I came to the Infant Institute three months ago, he was very shy while taking a walk and he was afraid of other people immensely. This weekend I took him sleighing and he greeted nicely the people whom he considered likeable. I am so glad to be given the chance to participate in this project. Thank you very much once again!

Iva: I took part in the project Open Arms for two years and worked as a volunteer taking care of a handicapped little girl Magdalenka. Thanks to the Providence and our persistence this little girl became a member of our family. We are very happy to have such a charming daughter. It is a miracle.

With all my family we thank you for her and we are greatly indebted to you for having the opportunity of meeting her… I wish that many more children could find their home thanks to the project Open Arms.

Marcela: After these visits you realize that the children are provided a basic care and many times this solution prooves much better than a violent enviroment at home, yet they still grow up in an “artificial” environment. They are not familiar with many things of ordinary life that are natural to the children of the same age who come from functional families. Even though the staff of such institutions work as hard as possible, they can never replace the real family. Therefore it is very good that our visits can help bring the ordinary life at least a little closer to the children.

Someone might find it disappointing that the children didn´t pay attention very long to the activities we had prepared for them. Nevertheless, as I see it, it was very useful, beneficial and also fun for them. Only to see the change some of the children underwent during our visit was a satifaction, or, how they were working with a great patience (especially the girls). Then you say to yourself „it is worth doing“ and you are happy that although you gave up some of your free time, you did something useful…

Jana: We visited several wards in two buildings with children of various age. From a few-day old, one-year or three-year-old to older handicapped children. When you see them lying there, it occurs to you that your problems don´t matter at all. When I was standing by one handicapped girl, I stroke her hand. She looked at me with her beautiful big eyes and it seemed to me as if those eyes were smiling at me…

Tom: The trip to Aš was a worthful experience for me. Currently, you can hear a lot of things around you, you can read or watch TV, but the reality of the Children´s Home is actually quite different. It is an encounter with parents´ unconcern, complications caused by lawgivers, but also with incredible helpfulness of the staff of the Infant Insitute.

Martina (the trip): I think that the children were pleased and they got an idea what to long for. I mean, so many people took care of them and they could see the functional families in reality. I wish this to all of them.

For me personally, there were some really strong moments. One of them was at a cemetery where we and the children watched angels engraved in a tombstone. There were angels pulling people out of the fire and I told the children that they are saving the people so that nothing bad happens to them. And then in the evening, when the children murmured that there was a bogeyman outside, I told them to call the angel who would protect them. Also in case of any other personal troubles. We had a nice talk about angels. Then I really liked music therapy. You could see how children softened and relaxed.

Another moment came right after the arrival, when Jenny gave me a savage look of a caged animal and I didn´t have a clue how to show I was not going to hurt her. The worst moment for me was when Pavlínka began to cry the last two nights and she always cried at least for an hour. First two nights she only sighed and because the nurses had warned me that she might do that I didn´t attach importance to it. However, its intensity was increasing and it was horrible. She choked and coughed. First time I woke up the nurses. The other night I lied down to her and comforted her. I know that it is impossible for the nurses to do that with every child, but then I am more convinced that children do not belong to insitutions.

I think there should be professional foster couples paid for bringing up at most 5 children together at least until the child completes his studies. I don´t understand what is the use of the state supporting an expensive education of young people without proper qualification and without the possibility of earning one´s living decently.

You had it organized very well. I think the children felt like in a paradise and I wish very much it was not the last occasion.

Jarda: It was apparent that everything made the children very happy. I still recall a boy Jirka who furiously pressed and pressed and pressed the stamp with a horse shouting “a horse, a horse” and you could see that at that moment he was really happy. Or how another boy humorously warned me not to step into horse´s poo, which Laik had left. Despite the fog and cold it was a cheerful day. I was happy I could just grab the child´s leg and walk beside the horse without having to explain anything. I was glad that the coordinator asked me to take photos once in a while. I didn´t feel under pressure or being forced to do something I was not sure I could do. It was the first time I had a contact with small children and I am looking forward to another one…

Wyllma:…The most pleasant thing for me was when a nine-month-old baby fell asleep in my arms. I had it in my arms and anytime I tried to lay it down, it began to weep discontentedly and took a strong grip of my hair and hands. Although his eyes were closing, every now and then it glanced at me, whether I was still there or whether he is not again alone in his bed. Well, how many times did he have a chance to fall asleep in someone´s arms and wake up in them again? It calmed me down so that I almost fell asleep, too…

Anna:…The beautiful feeling was not roused only by the smile, but also by the moment I cradled him in my arms and he spreaded his arms to hold me tight, or, when I was playing with one of the older children and I saw that he responded to me, that he was content not because he had something to play with, but someone…

David: ..they are normally born children, but at least for a minimum of time a chance to live normally is taken away from them. I step closer and I can hear sounds, but I can´t hear much. Most of the smaller children already gave up crying, because there is noone who would respond to their tears (mother doesn´t want to and the nurse can´t) and the more grown up ones who could toy with the language and speaking they often don´t speak much, because there is noone to teach them (mother don´t give them the time and nurses don´t have the time). The only thing I hear all the time are the nurses telling stories of those children. Not one of them is cheerful and I would like to stop my ears while listening to most of them. So, most of the time I listen to something I don´t want to hear – this is the painful reality of infant institutes and children´s homes…

Jarunka: As I saw so many beautiful children I felt tears in my throat but I quickly realized that this was not the way to help them. And thus I said to myself that I was there to give them joy right now and if everything went well we could be happy together… thanks a lot for the possibility given to us to feel our humanity…

Hanka: As I realized that children want the contact not only through games but also through stroking and holding I was given such a big gift to be able to stroke and hold them. And their need for this contact has filled my life so much and I felt happy with them, so happy as I had never been before.

Maruška: When I thought about it before I went to a children’s home I expected (from myself) that I would be bored by the activities with children the second or third day and I would be exhausted. The contrary happened. I was looking forward to the time spent with children every day and every day was completely different. I enjoyed it a lot and I was really interested in it. Every day ment a big lesson for me. A lesson in getting to know myself and the others as well.

Marie: My greatest experience? A friday lunch. I was trying to feed one of the heavily disabled girls the whole week but I never suceeded because she always got stubborn after a few spoons, she refused to eat more and got angry. But on Friday I got my satisfaction because she ate the whole portion of pasta!!!

Veronika: thank you for helping me to „open a new door“ in my life.

Zuzka: Children generally give you immediate feedback and that was the biggest reward for us.

Leni: I took care of a two-year-old boy when I was in children’s home. I spent the whole weekend with him and he felt well when he was with me. But when we came back among other kids he cried a lot and called his mummy… It was really sad, I really wished to take him home with me so that he has no reason to cry so much anymore… It is difficult to write about it, it might seem as a “cliché“ but this is what I felt… It was not easy to be able to explain to myself that I helped him at least a bit to cope with the first shock caused by the sudden changes in his life and the fact that his mother abandoned him…

Katarina: It is strange that a maternal instinct works even with someone else’s children. I would take the boy home with me immediately. I even dreamed of him at night.

Lenka: All abandoned children together deserve much more love.

Miluše: You do not have to be a psychologist to see how many benefits the work of volunteers brings to the kids. We could see a big progress on them and I am very glad that we can make something better than just be interested in business.

Anna: So we became volunteers. Children gave us lots of energy but they also took it from us. We played with them, we wiped their noses. Some of us even took care of those who were not lucky in their life and who are disabled. Disabled people have a kind of magic inside. They often watch the world around them with big beautiful eyes. Nobody knows what is going on in their heads, what are they thinking about. We are often afraid of them because we do not know how to treat them. They are mysterious but they are here with us and they deserve love and company, not just our sympathy.

Kamil: I started to appreciate common things that I have, for example home where I can come anytime, family or my health, much more than before…

Nina: It was one of the best weekends in my life. Not only I could be with so many children together but I also could make myself clear about my personal values. I realized that things that I solve every day do not mean anything there. That there are completely different values in children's homes; I think these ones are better than mine.

Ondra: At first I entirely refused to go there but then some invisible power pushed me there – FORTUNATELY!!! My opinion about disabled people was clear half year ago: it is useless to keep them alive because they cannot profit from their own life, they do not feel anything. I thought they must only suffer and we have to pay for them. Today I would rather thrashed myself for this. A few glances into their eyes can change your opinion forever.

Petra – Little Clown: I took part in a project called Little Clown. After we arrived, the kids were full of expectations. Seclusively, but with a great curiosity, they were peeping at the case, where the paints and all the other interesting things were hidden. Clare and Ken gave them out a kind of swatch, which showed what patterns they can have painted on them. While the children were eagrly flipping through the swatch, two of them would sit down and create a mask of Spiderman, a butterfly, a princess, a dog, a clown or something else. The other children were playing a game prepared by David and Klárka – the children danced to music around paper stars spreaded on the grass and when the music stopped, they had to take one of them. In the end they liked the painting so much and they were so enthusiastic that various pictures (flowers, suns, flags, ships…) must have been painted also on their hands and other places on their bodies. Eventually, also the staff of the children´s home together with their headmistress fell for this activity.

Monika: The Saturday was a great success. We went to the ZOO on the Saint's Hill near Olomouc, we rode on a small electric train, Renda „drove a car“ (red electric one), he climbed the „monkey track“, he fed animals and we also spent a good time at aquariums. We climbed the observation tower, I did´t feel very well there, because it was swaying in the wind, however, Renda had a great time. Then we got something to eat and visited some shops. Renda tried slotracing and after a nap in the car he also tried riding on a scooter. We visited a boat on a dam, Renda ordered a Cappy juice and he quite enjoyed pouring it into his glass on his own. We watched the fish and swang on the waves.

We sang the Mach a Šebestová song in the car; Renda hummed it a few more times during the rest of the day. He was tremendously happy and excited and it was the first time I heard him laughing aloud. I think we had a really beautiful day and I hope Renda enjoyed it.

Only one thing makes me wonder – and because I´m not familiar with the background, I don´t know what could be true and what Renda makes up (which he can do very well!) – he talks about his mother 4–5 times a day (that they have a new car, a new baby, they were on a trip), but mainly that his mom told him she could see him constantly, that she had had a screen at home, where she was always watching him and knew what he was doing, with whom he was playing and so on. I told him that his mom was probably joking and that the adults sometimes plays jokes like this.

Kristýna: I have a very good feeling about my visit to the children´s home, especially about the attitude of the head nurse and the other care workers and also of the other volunteers (including the experienced ones). I liked the organization of time schedule for particular groups, the entertainment and, most of all, the children themselves. Their spirit, the way they divided the short time amongst themselves, how their eyes were shining when they saw the puppets and learned that they would get these, too… etc.

Then I was surprised that the meeting wasn´t sad…I might have said this before..Yes, it is sad that children are so unlucky to be born to a such a family that they end up in a children´s home, however, the children themselves didn´t seem sad at all. Maybe they are too small for this. Of course, I know that they miss their moms, dads or other close persons they knew or they miss someone yet unknown…anyway, it seemed to me that they enjoyed yesterday´s time as much as they could. It was fun. Even saying goodbye was rather charming and sweet. The character of a volunteer is important as well, I guess. I am the one who is oversensitive and who also cries at the most inappropriate moments, but yesterday nothing of it came to my mind. Everything was just nice and meaningful.

Martina: I think that a children's home is equipped much better than many households (as usual). Despite this fact, the children still seem to miss something. It´s surely love and then the dvelopment of particular abilities, which are necessary for their future lives. I think these are: fantasy, systematic approach, courage to try new things, self-esteem. It´s related to being a part of a group and comparing with the others constantly. As I see it, the kids draw badly. It´s apparent that they only know how to colour in the colour books. For example Kuba wasn´t able to draw any shape or person, which he should be able to do at the age of 7. He only can colour in an empty space, otherwise he´s a really smart boy. When I tried to advise him or the other boy, they just stopped drawing without any further effort. They have no persistence, they simply run away. Who made me sad the most was the little girl. She lives in her own world and doesn´t care about anything else.

Next thing – concerning their fantasy: I was very surprised how little they fantasize or how much they are ashamed to work with fantasy. Do you remember how the boy was afraid to bark like a dog? And how they only said – I don´t know how to do this – and how they weren´t able to create anything or play with the marionettes. It´s normal for children of their age to act, to play something. But when they play, they destroy the toys instead.

Téra: Even though we know that the situation in children´s homes is terrible, the extent of deprivation is still surprising. Therefore I think that at least the first visit is psychically demanding and one feels extremely powerless. But I was pleasantly surprised by children and their willingness to share this.

Thank you very much for the insight into your job. Although I spent there only a couple of hours, it was something totally incredible. On Saturday I managed to get to the smallest babies, I bathed two infants. On Sunday we went out with two bigger ones. It was amazing that even an eight-month-old baby is glad to see something else than the children's home. The walk in the forest was something wonderful and extraordinary for them, they even didn´t want to go to bed afterwards.

The first visit to the disabled children was not really pleasant, because the fear of unknown was very strong; nevertheless, we spent there the longest time. We helped with the feeding and we were allowed to bathe one girl, too.

But the greatest reward for me came when we managed to teach them how to clap their hands and we made them laugh by singing and playing. It really is a very strong experience for me and I thank you very much for it, indeed.